Rotation - V, VII

Wellness Center

It is not easy getting up at 5:00am to make it to a location across campus by 6:00am, but it is possible. I know because I have done it before. It’s true. The simplicity of the Wellness Center is probably what I love most about it. Last semester (Fall 2008), it took a long time for me to see the relevance in all of this; it just felt like something was missing. But when it all comes down to it, the stuff they (strength coaches) do is just as equally important to what we (athletic trainers) do, but, in its own way. It became clear to me I don’t have to be as well-versed in the terminology or technique as the strength coaches, and vice versa, but it wouldn’t hurt to know a little bit, or give an effort to learn. So, I did.

The first thing I did was I took notice of which teams came in for workouts, and their beginning-to-end time, the intensity dynamics of their workouts, the specific body parts that were being focused on, and how well that translated into their success on their respective playing fields. This is a lot for 6:30am, and probably comes as no surprise why I found there to be no relation. But what I did find was athletes do not like to waste time, and they like to be challenged. How is that relevant to athletic training?

Well since I live on-campus and am in a position of authority in the residence halls, as a result, I talk to my residents, most of which happen to be athletes, and they like to know about their bodies. Most importantly, they want to know how they can tell if the treatment they are being prescribed is actually working. To hear the athletes’ thoughts were interesting because few actually questioned the effectiveness of the modalities treatments, while none questioned lifting weights. However, some noted their ability to exercise/practice/work out more efficiently was a result of the treatment they received from the Athletic Trainers. Go figure.

The bottom line is, you will not find the Wellness Center on many students’ lists of all-time favorite rotations, but there is a lot one can take from their two week stay. The tidbit of information I got may not seem significant, but in fact, it 1) gave me some valuable insight that will help me with an angle I’m taking in my Upper Extremity Evaluation course, and 2) provides another set of questions that is relevant when taking an injured athletes’ history.

Rotation VI

Student Health Clinic

The health clinic rotation was very beneficial in the sense that it allowed me to put my history-taking skills to test. My time was spent checking-in patients, most of whom were students, and taking vitals. From there, I would place them in designated doctor’s office depending on what they were there for; for example if they were there for female-related issues, physical examinations, blood work, or a simple check up.

What I liked from the very first moment is the nurses gave me an informal orientation about what to expect and what things I can do, and cannot do, and where to go if I had any concerns. There was no underestimation or condescending questioning about my abilities to perform, only expectations and offerings to help if needed. From that moment, I knew this would be a fantastic rotation. Everyone in the health clinic was fun to be around from the doctors, the nurses, office staff, and even the nursing students, unlike some other rotations where everyone seems to want to ‘one-up’ each other, which creates less cooperation and more competition. Here, no one had anything to prove, and I liked that.

Having McMichael there also added to the easiness, because, simply by chance, he dealt with more patients that required lab testing, blood work, etc. done, so when I would get a case, I could just ask him instead of asking the nurses. I like environments where we can use each other as resources instead of always asking the instructor/CI first. And besides, the nurses picked on him all the time haha

There were a variety of conditions I saw from a broken foot, to prescription refills, to what was the biggest abscess I have ever seen (picture or person) on a young woman’s axillary fold. Contrary to what most believe, I did not have one patient there for STD/STI related-reasons, unless they just were not comfortable telling that to me, in the two weeks I was there. The easiest patients to take history’s on were those who suffered orthopedic related injuries, which there were quite a few, and I gradually learned to ask really good questions with the cold/flu/sore-throat population. The hardest patients to take a history on were the three individuals who wanted consultation about the depressive symptoms they were experiencing. Being that is a sensitive subject, I tried to make those ones as quick as possible for the patient and myself.

Another unique aspect of this rotation was the fact I lived on-campus, and there were a good number of times when patients recognized me, and I recognized them. Being a Community Assistant in the residence halls, the most awkward moment came when one of my residents came in, and I tried to avoid bringing it up during the history, but she brought it up so I played along. I was just happy it didn’t make her uncomfortable.

This rotation was very socially and educationally pleasing. The time spent here was so long but it seemed brief because of the fun and interesting stuff to do. I am sure the women in the front office did have something to do with that, also.

East Texas loves Dilla

JJ rocking the Dilla hoody!  I have no idea what turf she's is throwing up, but I want that hoody! 

Wait a minute, that is mine! Being the gentleman I am, it was cold out so I let her sport that....but first, not without proper representation! Dilla says "Go!"

Rotation - IV

Emergency Room/Ambulance ride-out

The ER is an enjoyable clinical rotation because it is as close to real-time action as we are going to get during our first year. Arguably the Physician Assistant rotations are comparable, but the ER and ambulance gets the edge, in terms of real-time involvement and interaction, while the PA rotations are beneficial because of the practical knowledge gained, and its immediate use in the classroom.

I personally find the ambulance ride-outs to be more pleasant than the ER. Watching the EMT’s work is quite fascinating. In some ways it is similar to the work of an Athletic Trainer, in their abilities to process situations and the information being given to them, decision making, and communication with patients through question asking.

My time there was diversified with various events happening from kids playing with fireworks, heart attacks, to a double homicide, which I tearfully missed. The Monday I was there had already been a quiet day, and it just continued through the night, which according to the men and women there was a “good thing.” We began with a few transfers, where the ambulance provides complimentary rides back home for discharged patients. We traveled some distance to the outskirts of town and instead of heading back to central station (Nacogdoches Memorial); we stayed at the South Station Firehouse where I got the chance to hang with some firemen. They noticed my SFA Sports Medicine shirt and we talked about…yep, you guessed it, SFA Sports.

The following day, there was a new EMT who had just found out he passed his licensing/certification (?) which made him a full-EMT, if that is the correct term, so he was being congratulated and being given a hard time from the veterans of the group. After all the excitement and energy subdued, there was a call about a woman, who according to the EMT’s was a “regular,” experiencing severe chest pains and thought to be having a heart attack. As we approached the housing community where she lived, the ambulance stopped as we had to wait for the police escort into the facility. I thought that was interesting as someone could be dying at the moment, yet, our safety doesn’t trump hers, but is just as important. There may be other reasons as to why that is, which I talked with the EMT about later that evening, but I didn’t think too much into it. They basically gave me the explanation that since there are sometimes a lot of children around, especially with there being a middle school next door, they tend to cut the sirens and hopefully preventing a crowd from gathering, and the police helps with that effort. Gotcha! They later joked about the projects being not as scary as some other parts of East Texas. This is when one of the EMT’s proceeds to tell me about the small-town communities off the loop, where the locals don’t wear shoes, and have been known to walk around on all-fours. The EMT’s continued to say, “Now in those places, we definitely need the police escorts!” When we got back to the ER, the woman was treated for ulcers on her hands and problems unrelated to heart attack signs and symptoms.

The very next day was the much-heard double homicide involving four men in what seemed to be a bad drug deal. The EMT’s gave me all the details and were very distinct in their descriptions. I am unsure if I would have wanted to witness that, but the story was definitely intriguing as this one man was outnumbered and took on three other armed men. The EMT’s speculated whether the victim was a former soldier of some sorts, because the fashion in which he took out one of the other men, and because of the army-issued weapons and knives that were found at the scene. It must have been a wild sight.

Overall, this was a very fun rotation. I think the best way to sum it up is with the words of most of the EMTs, “you just really never know.” I think I learned more about people and interaction than practical and useful stuff directly related to Athletic Training.

25 Random Things....yada yada ya

25 Random things you +

don't know +

want to learn +

thought you knew +

heard +

feared was true +

about me.

1. I'm pretty sick of hearing the word swagger.  It's like everyone and their mama learned a new word at school today.  I swear, I haven't heard the word used so much since until Art Shell continually repaeated it in referencing regaining the Raiders' old ways of playing. Then that same year, Cam'ron came with the infamous "Swagger jackin" comment.  Next thing you know, everybody's "got swag," or their "swag is on low," or they ain't "cookin' with swag," or posting signs "this homework was done with swag," and even Old Spice has a product called Swagger haha. What's next, a Swag Energy Drink?  Shit spreads like the plague...

2. I think everyone's role model are their parents by default. Therefore, the person (non-related) I look up to the most is a man named Wayne Kitchen. Simply put, if not for him I would not be in the position I am today.  He is the former Director of Cal-State Hayward's Upward Bound program, and has had the most influence on me.

3. In 2007 I had three different people (all peers) genuinely tell me they admired me, and looked up to me, and I really valued that.

4.  My best friend Kwesi is getting married in 2010. Other than getting my Master's degree 1 month later, that is hands down the biggest thing I am looking forward to in the near future.  I have been best friends with him and one other guy for 12 years this July.  I consider them both my brothers. 

5. I can't remember the last time I've been under 200lbs.  Right now I am 5'11" 225lbs. and I feel good as ever.  A lot of that is muscle because I am stronger than I have ever been, too.  And my body has never been as cardio-efficient  as it is now.  Yes, everybody say "cardio-efficient"

6. I cried during President Barack Obama's Election Night speech. I secretly only moved to Texas to help in the efforts to get him elected.  Haha I told someone that once, and although I soon mentioned it was just a joke, I think that person still believes me to this day =)

7. I think anyone who tries to act hard while in college is a fraud! A wanksta, if you will. You are f*cking up the game, wanksta! Real thugs are out banging and don't have 8:00am class in the morning. Just be yourself.  How can you getcha thug on, but be in college?  You can't.

8. I stopped watching BET and MTV about 3 years ago.  Thank goodness for digital cable which carries channels/shows for specific targeted groups, and not just sheep who believe everything they see or hear.  I remember when VH1 was considered only for old people...you probably think I'm old just for saying that

9. I think a lot of people are naive, and truly have no clue as to what exactly is going on around them, and, often in front of their own very eyes.  I think a lot of people are satisfied being told what to believe.  It's hard to think for yourself sometimes, but it is necessary, in order to have meaningful discussions.  

10. After reading #9, the thing I admire most about people is their ability to be an individual.  I have always been an individual.  As soon as too many peole beging to do something - I stop.  I used to wear a lot of Triple 5 Soul, used to rock braids/cornrows, listen to certain music, etc., but when the bandwagon got too full, I got off at the next stop.  I guess you can argue that those were phases in my life, but I would argue against that.  However, there are some things that are just too good to stop loving, regardless of the number of people who jumps aboard.  

11.  Kinda going along with the individualism theme, I cannot come to understand why soooo many people (girls) rock Coach bags, with Coach shoes, Coach sweaters, sunglasses, earrings, etc. Oh lord, you can see the most unpolished person in the streets jeans, flip flops, and white t-shirt, and almost always expect to see a Coach bag, like the bag just goes with every outfit, and completes everything they're trying to accomplish.  I'm not trying to offend, but it's pretty nauseating.

12.  The reason I am never stressed is because I have already gone through the most toughest, most distressful, times of life.  This is the easy stuff now.   Ask the people who have known me the longest and they will say that cannot remember a time of me "snapping" or "losing it." 

13.  The first instrument I learned was the alto saxophone which I played for 2 years, and was first-chair in my high school orchestra for two years.  Then I picked up the piano, and the rest is history.  

14. I think a person can be too smart for their own good.  Once you start overanalyzing and thinking too hard, I think the message gets muddled through all those metaphors and similies and brain processing activity which eventually leads to another question...which eventually leads to another question, and then another, and then....

15.  Whenever I go online, there are (4) websites I absolutely must visit.  In no particular order http://sfgate.com, http://huffingtonpost.com, http://mail.yahoo.com, http://bankofamerica.com.

16.  In 1999, I created a website called Tha FreakStylaz Board, which is essentially a huge message board where writers/emcees submitted and posted their work, only to be critiqued and and reviewed by other emcees.  This year August 12, 2009 will be the 10th Anniversary.  I never quite figured out how to generate revenue off it.  This site isn't mentioned in #15 because it's a given ;-)  Also another interesting fact about this is I never even owned a computer until last year (2008)!  

17.  I believe only boring people, get bored.  When I was little, I never had shit to do, and was tired of feeling that way.  So, I just learned a bunch of things that would occupy my time.  Everyday, my older brother and I stayed home alone while my mom was at work, and there just wasn't shit to do.  So I learned piano, write poetry/raps, read books, moved furniture, watched the news (we didn't have cable), styled my hair, played stickball, memorized and wrote out lyrics to songs,  flip through Eastbay magazines, cleaned toilets, watched Jeopardy, did push ups, folded clothes, learned to DJ, re-laced my shoes, all kinds of stuff - just so I wouldn't be bored.  I This may explain my cleanliless habits now haha

18.  The first "movie moment" (you know the type of thing you "once saw in a movie") of my life came in 1997 when I was in 7th grade, and I dated this girl whose parents didn't exactly approve of her dating, and we were getting "close"  in her parents house one afternoon, when she heard them return home from wherever they were.  Luckily her friend was in the living room and was able to stall them.   So I jumped out of the window and sprinted down the block, glad to still have my life.  They later found out all about what happened and about 1 month later we split.  I think the ruined window screen, shrubs and bushes outside the window, tipped them off.

19.  My "brush with death" came two years prior when a kid in my complex was really drowning in the 6ft-deep end of the pool, and I jumped in to try to save him, and instead ended up almost being drowned myslef.  Once I got ahold of him, he climbed on my back and kicked me underneath the water, and all I remember is seeing the light from the sun, from under water, and seeing legs, arms, and bubbles, everywhere, and waking up on the side of the pool hyperventilating.  Turns out someone else jumped in and got him off of me, and I pulled myself from the water, and passed out.  There was no supervision. 

20.  I sacrificed a lot, I mean A LOT, of fun, to make my mom happy, because I had a feeling it would dissappoint her.  She once told me, "it's a sin to make your mother cry," and I still believe her today.  She also told me when I was in kindergarten, "if I didn't wear my glasses, I would be blind in 2 years," and she TWICE locked herself out of the car and called the Fire Dept. saying, "she locked her baby in the car," so they would come faster.  Wild, but true! That last one sooooo puts things into perspective. 

21.  My 1-yr older brother and I didn't truly become "close," until he moved out.  Prior to that, we had an okay relationship.  I think if I was ever in trouble, he would have my back and the same for me, but other than that, we weren't that cool

22.  My longest relationship was 2 years during high school.  Very unique relationship it was.  The closest I've ever come to that was 8 months.I like a variety of types of women so I usually don't categorize the specific characteristics.  But I will fall in love with a woman who wears glasses, plays basketball, is passionate about something, understands herself, fashionable, as comfortable at night as she is in the day ;-) and can dance!  A little bit of self-steem, wouldn't hurt...j/k

23.  The four years I spent studying at the Univ of San Francisco was hands-down the best four years of my life!  I enjoyed everything about it, and I am so thankful for the people I met, things I learned, and to have gone their and survived.  It is actually true what they say about "learning more outside the classroom" than inside, because the people I met, and things I learned, helped me to become the influential person I am today.  College was truly the bridge from childhood to adulthood.  I left college with an entirely differenet outlook on "how life should be lived," than what I originally believed. 

24.  I would describe myself as artisitc.  I certainly appreciate academics and smart people, but I think the truly amazing folks are those who make us laugh, smile, cry, and laugh some more, admire, grow, love, and all those other emotions and sentiments you feel when your eyes open wide, jaw drops, and knod with approval

25.  It would be nice to be married with children...someday.  I think too many folks fall victim to the idea of having to be married and beginning families, as if that is what will validate their successes and happiness.  There are plenty of people who are perfectly happy (or at least they say they are) single and without kids, or one of the two.  I think there are benefits to both but ultimately, everybody wants to be loved.  Same thing goes for home ownership versus renting.  This all goes back to #9, 10, and 11 - about people not thinking for themselves, and just believing the whole notion that "if everyone else says you must own a home, get married, and have kids," then it must be good.  Not asking you to think, just use your head

I know I am late with this whole 25 Random Things... list, but thank God I finally finished it.  It's been lamping on my Treo for weeks

This one is for Dilla

As seen on Dilla fans everywhere...

Snapping photos suprising folks

Still not ready, lemme find my pose

Making sure I'm fresh

Baby why you all up on me??!? Haha having too much fun

Rotation III - Softball

Alright. So here's the deal, everyone is saying 'what a lucky guy I must be' because my last rotation, which was softball, was practically on-the-road the entire time, and as a Level I graduate student, I am not allowed to travel with them.  During the scheduled two-week rotation (excluding weekends), I spent a total of six days with the team, which were all practices, and consequently equates to time away from the sport.  That is just not the case.  I really wanted to see this team play!  The main reason I wanted to see this team in action is because they have one of the most relaxed practices I have ever witnessed, and I wanted to see if that transcended onto the playing field.  I know they are currently under .500, but they did suprisingly knock off a nationally-ranked Texas A&M team, and boldly exceuted this in the Aggies' own house!  I mean, they went whole hog on 'em.  

As for the clinical rotation itself, I very much enjoyed my time there.  The Level II graduate student assigned is Donyelle, and there is also an undergraduate student assigned to this sport, Katie.  So between two other coaches and I, there were three males around the entire time.  That certainly did not bother me.  The Clinical Instructor is Jana, who is a 2nd year Graduate Assistant with SFA.  This was Jana's first time being a Clinical Instructor, and I was her lucky first subject.  Knowing this information, I entered this rotation with no expectations, mainly because I had nothing to go off of, like prior students detailing her personality. What I liked about Jana right from the beginning is that she actually quizzed me on injuries, anatomy, rehab, and treatment options!  I loved that!  Never before has a Clinical Instructor done that.  Jana was also good in explaining her other duties with softball that are not necessarily relevant to athletic training.  Such duties as hotel information, food, and travel.  She opened my eyes to the many responsibilities an athletic trainer may have to be well-versed in.  Additionally, she was well prepared in having her staff prepared.  Everything is always much better when everyone is on the same page and her student athletes seemed to know their roles and procedures.  I can definitely see that in her personality.  

What I did not like is that I was unable to talk about anything related to classwork, for example, proficiency testing/practicing unless it was scheduled 24 hours in advance.  That, I did NOT understand!  For instance, there was one particular time when it was super dead in the training room, and there was one softball athlete recieving treatment.  Jana's own words were, "wow, it must be a slow day today," and I, seeking opportunity and taking initiative (because that is my biggest complaint on my evaluations), asked politely, "well since it is slow, do you think we can practice some head/neck stuff?," and her response was a swift "no, schedule it."  Okay.  And some variation of this happened two other times, one where an athlete was recieving a paraffin treatment and I asked if I do it, can I count this as a practice? Answer was a "no, schedule it 24 hours in advance."  That is fine, I understand it is your rotation/sport and you manage it however you want.  I mean, I would manage it the way I wanted, also!  But the line between unreasonable and overmuch, here - is thin.  

I liked the rotation because the players really seem to enjoy Jana, she knows her stuff, and she does not interact with them like they are elementary children.  And this in turn, meant the players treated me and the other student trainers with apropriateness and respect.  This probably reflects some of the coaches' personality as well.  But without reading into all of that, softball definitely is a cool rotation.  I really appreciated Jana asking me questions regarding injuries and athletic training related things, because afterall, we are here to learn. 

Rotation II -

My second rotation was with a local hospital, and I also alternated days at Nacogdoches High School.  The schedule went Monday & Thursday at the Doctors' office and Tuesday & Friday at Nacogodoches High School.  This rotation seemed like it would be draining, but I do not know why I initially thought that way.  It turned out to be a very fascinating experience, especially at the Doctors' office, even though I mainly dealt with the older population; folks I will likely never interact with unless I am in a clinical setting.  The other site in my clinical experience, Nacogdoches High, was just that - Nacogdoches High, but it was fun to see more sports other than football.  Currently they have a pretty good boys and girls soccer team, baseball is getting started, and basketball is ending, although they made the playoffs with just three wins. Okay, maybe five wins.  The most exciting part about Nac High was watching Soccer, which is one of the few sports I do not understand.  I got the opportunity to learn more about the sport, and even helped with the rehab of one of the best overall players on the team.  Both soccer games I watched were shutouts.  Other than the boys basketball losing a heartbreaker by one point during my first week, I was good luck!

Meanwhile at the Doctors' office, I mainly followed around his Physician Assistant.  The environment here is good for the purpose of learning because you can observe real-life examinations with patients who have an array of medical conditions, as opposed to athletes who often only have one or two things going on.  The Physician Assistant, who is a graduate from the same program I am currently in, no longer practices Athletic Training, but had a lot of advice to offer.  We talked about the many environments that Athletic Trainers are employed, and the dis/advantages that come.  We talked about how is athletic background helped with certain patients and even figuring out certain conditions.  I got to see everything from amputated fingers, radial fractures in 5 yr olds riding horses, a cyst being aspirated, torn rotator cuff tendons from drunk women falling during a mardi gras party, and a rare case of ulnar neuritis, which I will most likely do my Upper Evaluation courses' case study on.  My favorite moment came when I was referred to as, a colored person by a 94 year-old woman with a case of gout, who asked the doctor why it was more prevalent in African Americans (wow)!  I was not offended, seeing the womans age and where she was most likely raised.  Live and learn, go figure.  Pretty much this was a productive rotation.  The time went by fairly quick, and I feel I got a lot out of it.   

New pieces!!!

My Obama board with the rasta color scheme! Oh boy, boy! And the board on the left is a map of the Muni system in San Fran. That's just the underground Muni, not the entire bus grid- it wouldn't fit all on one board (Shouts to N Judah Chronicles blog)! As you all know I live in residence halls, so I hung both boards using a wire hanger (Thanks, Ben) and 3M Command removable hooks. If you look closely, the Obama board has holes where the hanger pokes, and I managed to do the SF board without punching holes in it.  I didn't mind the holes at first, but man now I wish I hadn't done that. Enjoy!   

Rotation 1 - Men's Basketball

My first clinical experience for spring 2009 was Men's Basketball (MBB).  Having this as my first rotation could not have been better!  The Athletic Trainer in charge of basketball is Troyce Solley.  The Level II is Dustin.  I find it hard to believe there is a better clinical experience.  This rotation fills a void that can't be replaced, especially for the things I look for the most in quality experiences...

1. Educational opportunity - Stop for a second and think!  In this type of environment, the only reason you do these things is to hopefully learn!  Now, I am a patient man, but I personally do not see the point in doing meaningless things if there is no opportunity for growth.  With that in thought, MBB was the ideal rotation because Troyce does an excellent job of combining just the right amount of instruction and involvement.  He sets reasonable expectations and grants you just enough freedom that you do not feel confined to any strict set of rules.   Although there are not many injuries that occur in basketball compared to the various contact sports, there were still plenty of chances to check for learning.  I had the pleasure of sitting through explanations and demonstrations about special topics like pain tolerance, and hear views on what sets apart one particular player from another.

2. Involvement - I never once felt alone during this clinical experience.  Troyce and Dustin both managed to find time to make sure I knew what was going on.  I think this may just be a by-product of their personalities, but if it isn't, they did an excellent job of not dumbing-down any aspect of treatments, practice/game setup, rehab, or anything related to daily operations.

3. Teachable Moments - Although there were no new major injuries, the ongoing treatments of old injuries were just as good to be a source of learning.  I feel there was not ever a moment where I did not know what was being done in terms of treatment, updates and changes in treatments, player conditions, and introductions to new methods being tried.

4. Environment - The coaches and players on the team truly respect what the athletic trainers do, and are grateful for the service they provide.  The players say "please" and "thank you," and they also fulfill their responsibilities of informing the staff of their progress during rehab or post-injury.  From my observation, I think this is a derivation of Troyce and Dustin treating and speaking to the players like adults, and not talking them down.  The respect definitely shows.

This clinical experience is definitely a quality experience.  MBB ranks #2 on my list of best clinical rotations so far.  It will be tough to beat.  And not to mention, the team went 3-0 with my presence. 

Please excuse me while I become a PROfessional

Breaks over...

First day of class, and already, I'm realizing that I have to get in the zone!  Not just for this semester, but for the rest of my professional career - that's if I want to be the best Athletic Trainer I can be.  And truly what that means is I will probably have to give up the things that I loved doing as a young man (college kid), which was Playstation mainly haha.  But also, I loved doing things on the side such as practicing the piano, drawing, writing music and poetry, and going out to parties or events.  I mean, it just seems as if that's what it takes - sacrifice.  I'm not stressing about it, because this is afterall, what I came to do.  I'm transitioning into adulthood right before my very eyes.  

Unreal.

Introducing...Bruce

Full blood Pitbull.  I know, I know, they're vicious breed of dog, right? No! I feel they're reflective of their owners personalities, and Bruce is a cool dog. Doesn't really bark much and is great with kids. He belongs to my brother who has had him since birth. He's 3 months in these shots.

Eating my brothers Crocs

He has blue eyes

Hungry for my exercise bike

All a dog wants is his bone. He went to work on this thing for like 10 mins. straight! I kid you not!

From that, to this...New diggs

Ahh, finally...

I have a feeling this semester will be a lot easier, if for no other reason, that I have a place of my own now. Last semester I shared a room in a dorm-style living arrangement, and I was unsatisfied with the conditions; not neccesarily with the person I was living with, just the environment.  Being a Graduate student in a building full of freshmen and sophmores was hard.  It was certainly reflected in my academic performance, which was sufficient but could have been better, especially not being able to study as efficiently as I needed.  There was no space for books, little storage, and I always had to be considerate of my roommate's schedule. 

Now that I have my own space, although it is still university housing, there is a huge difference in my outlook on this semester and the academic possibilities.  Not only do I no longer share a space, but the facility is a huge upgrade equipped with everything a GRADUATE student needs in order to be succesful.  Not teasing, but damn I got it good =) 

'Before' shots (Hall 16)

Not pretty, I know. Especially this last shot ^^above, with all the gross objects on the shower floor. But now...

'After' shots (Lumberjack Village)

And as you can see, my walls are naked, but that won't last long...Needless to say, the rest of my nights will be in comfort. Holler!

Jean Ringo, I will NEVER forget you - NEVER!

When my phone rang this morning, I rushed from the living room couch to answer it - the ringer was loud and annoying.  The number was Blocked ID, and typically I don't answer these calls, but this time I did. The voice on the other end was Patrice Ringo, daughter of Jean Ringo, and immediately I knew something was wrong because she spoke low and reserved. She told me Jean died in her sleep...

*I'm now getting up to close my room door because I can feel the tears coming. 

We both cried over the phone for a little while, and I continued to cry after we ended the call. I tried my best to wipe my tears and then I went and told my mom who was laying down in the other room.  Her reaction was just as stunned as my mine.  And for the next twenty minutes, we sort of went back and forth about the many things we remembered about Jean, and how she had helped us over the years. 

Damn, I might not ever be able to finish this if I can't stop tearing up everytime I think about her. Now I know what Pour La Vie Ayiti feels like when she said "she's going to cry all over her keyboard," because that's exactly what I'm doing by trying to wipe away the tears. I cried a lot when my grandfather Mr. Thornton died.  He was really the first person I had known to pass.  Then when my uncle Ricky was killed in the car crash, I cried too, and even more at the funeral. But this feeling is different.  Jean is by far, the closest person to me to have passed.

To truly understand how much Jean meant to me, I'd be here for 10 years explaining all the things I learned from her, directly and indirectly. As I am writing this, I find myself letting out wellmeant chuckles, because, ironically, that's what Jean taught me, or rather, that is what I learned from her. Just watching the way she interacted with other adults, cracking small jokes, and having a sense of humor, really played a huge role on my impressionable high school freshman mind. I didn't know a lot about nothing, but Jean would somehow find a way to sneak a lesson into everything she did. 

I met Jean by accident. Strange, but true!  Summer 1999 while she was moving into her new place around the corner from me, my mom recognized the woman who was helping Jean move-in. As a result, my mom pretty much volunteered my services to help carry boxes and unpack items for Jean, who was a self-employed business owner, and limited to strenuous activity because of her weight, and previous orthopedic injuries.  Needless to say, I was not happy.  It was Summer vacation for goodness sake!  I was 14yrs. and doing something against my will.  I kinda thought this was unfair, but when she began to pay me $20 dollars per visit, I wasn't so upset anymore.  Soon, I realized this wasn't all that bad. 

I would sometimes spend as many as seven hours at her place.  She would ask me to unpack items, do cleaning (shampoo carpets, dishes, mop floors), organizing books, paint furniture, cut plexi-glass, walk her small dog Spunky, wash her Nissan Quest, run errands with her, or gogive me a project like the infamous "Futon Debacle," haha.  Ok, I admit, I have never put together a futon, or a book shelf, or an entertainment center, computer desk, prior to meeting Jean, but I didn't want to seem like a spoiled child who does absolutely nothing with his hands, so I said I can do it! And Jean, you sat there and had a helluva laugh once the assignment was "complete," haha. It tickled the hell out of you!  I thought I was done, and just like that, you would gesture 'move aside, watch and learn' and then you'd show me how to do it correctly - everytime! You were good.  And all I could do was stand there and deal with it. =)

That was lesson #1 - "Don't do a job half-ass," and I was accused of this often haha.  Until, I put it behind me and no longer did half-assed jobs, right?  Jean, you taught me well. You taught me a lot, Jean. Remember when we were driving, I think this was last Summer, when I tried my best to tell you how much you meant and how much you taught me, and how much I learned over the years?  We were over near Laney college on 880 South, you were dropping me off at Fruitvale Bart, and I was trying to tell you - but I couldn't, because I was feeling really emotional just expressing myself in that way. It wasn't a surprise to you that I really valued everything about you, and you meant so much - more than words, but I really wanted to get it out, but found myself tearing up whenever I began to speak.  The little I did manage to get out, was not enough.  I think you sensed my emotional burst coming, so then like the mother you were, you interjected and showered me with compliments to help me. Hehe, you were always there for those special moments.  

Jean, why did you have to go? You didn't get the chance to see all that I've become.  I told you I was going to make you proud, but now you can't see me do the things I promised. Jean..I fucking owed you! I wasn't done repaying you for what you did for my mom and I!! Remember when I said I couldn't wait to get my own place, and I was going to organize it just like you taught me? And use all those tricks and shortcuts about being a homeowner and owning property? 

Jean. I want to take this chance to apologize for anything I have ever done that wasn't to your standards, or anything I did that wasn't right, or anything that made you upset or annoyed. I know I had my problems but that wasn't my choice. Honestly there were times when I didn't want to help you, or didn't feel like, or figured I could be doing something else.  But that was just my selfishness and really not who I am. There were times when I said I would walk Spunky and didn't follow his usual route, the one that you told me to take. Instead,  I would go half way and just stand in front of the buidling until he pooped. But that was mainly in the beginning when I was too young to understand the lessons I was being taught and the responsibility I was gaining. Your responsibility and your trust. 

You know, when I failed the driver's license test, haha I was sooo quiet during that ride home, huh?  I think you knew I wanted to cry, I was upset and dissappointed in myself so much.  You didn't ask me what I did wrong, and give me an opportunity to make excuses.  Instead, you reassured me that whatever he thought I did to fail, was probably a justifable reason, and all I have to do is practice so I can pass the next time. Haha, I was soooo mad. But Jean, I was listening...

Jean, thank you! Thank you for introducing me to Sally next door, who taught me some really great piano music, and gave me that custom-made book of sheet music. I still have it, and have tried to learn a bunch of those songs.  When you told me Sally's husband died, I was sad for her, and she soon died after. That was especially hard on you, I know, because you two were close. You were close with a lot of people. Old and young. That was one of the many things I admired about you. Thank you for introducing me to your family. Patrice and her Daughter Grace are a dynamic duo.  You loved Grace and always talked about her. And they're both as amazing in person, as you described them. I practically felt like family. Thank you for dropping me off so many places, letting us use your van so we could go to my first concert. You knew how much I loved Bone Thugs haha.  Thanks for letting your niece and I use your sink for her to put a relaxer kit in my hair hhahahahahahaha.  Oh, that was soo great!  I think that is the reason I'm thinning right in the front of my hairline hahahahha.  Jean, thank you for the furniture, the tables and couches, and plants, and pictures. Thanks for helping my mom find that job, and she still has it today. Thank you for all the great home-made sandwiches, and pop. Remember when I told you I got accepted to USF?  You told me I was 'on my way' and you were right! You were right, Jean. And then I got that great job at the school, and then at the hospital? And then I got into Graduate school?  You knew, didn't you?  And my promise to make you proud, will be kept. After my sophmore year of college, I said you didn't have to pay me any more. I was happy to just come and help you with anything. You knew I meant that, but you insisted on paying me anyway, or at least making me some of those great sandwiches, or treating for dinner. 

But the reality is after 8 years, I was not in debt to you.  I felt you didn't have to pay me because I owed you, and I still owe you. The things I learned from you were from love. There is no monetary value, just returned love, in the same way you gave it. 

We had a lot of enjoyed experiences, Jean. The reality is I always worried about your health. I knew that you were very capable, and very smart, but sometimes I would internally question some things you did.  Of course, the smarter I got, especially about cigarettes and our food choices, the more I felt I should say something.  For that, I blame myself.  I never said anything.  That was just respect, but a little part of me feels like I could have helped.  Patrice said you died in your sleep, and I'm glad you didn't feel any pain. I knew sometimes when I was helping out, you were cry out in pain from your joints, but it would soon go away. I was acting concerned, but I should have done more. This was stuff I was studying; the profession I planned on entering, and I just stood there, and tried to help through other ways, besides the way I knew the best.  Those were rough times. 

Jean, I like to believe a lot of this wouldn't be possible without you.  Had you not entered my life that Summer day almost 10 years ago, then my life would have been a helluva lot different. We've been through so much, four girlfriends of mine, 3 places of residences by you, family deaths on both of our sides, then break-ups with those girlfriends, movies on the Independent Film Channel (IFC), and your favorite channel, Sci-Fi, thanks for getting me hooked =)

Jean, you were a genuis! I remember coming across your invention, the Genie Wrap, and asking so many questions about it.  I was amazed at how smart you were, and wondered how someone knew so much about so much. But I guess a lot has happened to you in the past, and that's how you learn - through past experiences, mistakes, trials, failures, and you grow from there. Jean, even though you're gone, I don't think you were done with work, we weren't done with eachother. Amazing Gracey will miss you. Patrice will miss you. My mom will miss you.  We will all miss you very much. Maybe you are up there with Sally talking the 'girl-talk' you two loved doing =) Jean, I hope one day to meet you again, and I hope you are in a better place. I know you were in a lot of pain, and I hope and pray that that pain has since subsided, and now you are truly free! I love you!

Remembered, Jean Ringo

1944 -2008

USF Champions Remembered

Now that it is Bowl Season, I wanted to show some appreciation to the University of San Francisco's undefeated offense of the January 2, 1951 Fiesta Bowl. Of course, the defense was equally as great, but this shot is of the offense only. USF is more known for their back-to-back National Champion basketball teams, but yes, we did have football, too.  I am extremely proud to be a product of such a prestigious and outstanding institution.  I am thankful for the people I met during my time there, and would not trade my time there for anything. And the athletic legacy here, is just crazy! Amazing stuff. Man, they don't make 'em like this anymore...

Now gone, Sen. Claiborne Pell

There is an excellent piece written on former US Senator Claiborne Pell over at Huffington Post, but I wanted to personally thank this wonderful individual for introducing the grant program, of which his name bears, Pell Grant, that helped millions upon millions of students attend college and afford them the opportunity that everyone should be entitled to - getting an education, if you so choose. From reading the article, I found out some interesting information about his upbringings and his background. He was truly an exemplary figure.

Personal Carmeli pieces

These are two pieces I own from Carmeli, both are originals and fly as f@%# !!! That's my word so take heed.  This picture was taken on my wall, and I'll be taking these back to Texas with me.  The one on the left is titled "Fell Asleep Beneath the Tree" and on the right is "Melody," which I renamed (sorry Meli).  Being a musician, I named the piece on the right "Melody" because a friend of mine who passed away who was also a musician, once said, "A pretty girl is like a sweet melody," and this piece reminds me of a pretty girl I know.  So in a way, by naming this piece "Melody," I am paying respects to a friend/musician who has since passed and also a past love.  Feel free to zoom in.

Carmeli *Live*

Enjoying my Winter Break so far, if I say so myself.  One of the sure highlights (among others, more to come on that later...) was my chance to see artist Carmeli and others' work on display this past Friday December 26 at 111 Minna Gallery.  This was a cool idea, combining a nightclub atmosphere with an art gallery/showing, instead of having it in a traditional gallery or a Starbucks!  In the other room was a *Live performance from Hot Tub, all-femme man-hating group from Oakland.  Yeah..they are something else!  Anyway, here are some shots from the festive night.  Something to behold, for sure.  Oh, and I didn't get a shot with DJ Touchy Feely and Krown Prince, who were both in the building.  This is my shout-out to the two of you.

Merry Christmas from The Dreamer

 Photo credits to Ashleigh

Merry Christmas to you and your family! This is a shot of me at the Paris Las Vegas, right before the bear fell on me. Kidding, kidding...just trying to get attention =) 

How do say...um, what's the word I'm looking for? BULLSHEEEAZZYYY

The date is Sunday July 6, 2008.  This picture was taken at a gas station on the Loop directly off Old Tyler Rd.  I had just stepped off the Greyhound (yes, Greyhound) bus, and wanted to document this.  I didn't know the price of gas would come down, epsecially so drastically and quickly.   I thought it would at least be high for years.  But that's when the economy went under, although some claimed the "fundamentals of our economy are strong," and with a creepy grin-smile-laugh, the prices plummetted!  Nothing fun about that except for cheaper reasons to drive your guzzler!

This is a picture taken on December 13 while driving south on H 59.  We passed this Chevron (not the same station in above picture) and the gas here was $1.42 and that wasn't the lowest in town!  I believe the lowest we saw en route to Bush Intercontinental Airport Houston was $1.35, and I have a picture of that, but can't seem to find it. Mysteriously disappeared.  Anyhoo, that is a $2.62 drop on unleaded fuel in East Texas, in just over 5 months.  And news was recently released that OPEC will drive the market price of oil to $70/barrel in the New year.  It currently stands at $42/barrel.  That's a slash of roughly 2.2 million barrels/day to drive up the cost again.  Your thoughts

-The Dreamer

Happy Born Day, to me

Thanks to Yvette for the cupcakes :) They were delicious! And thanks to everyone who showed love in my virtual world, FreakStylaz, Imeem, Facebook, etc., and in my reality world, the hugs, kisses, texts, calls, etc. I feel like a micro-celebrity or something haha

Rotation 7 - Cross Country/Track and Field

Warning: Rant enclosed

To say I didn't learn anything would be inaccurate. To say I didn't want to be there, most of the time, would not be.  Relax.  Whatever it was that caused me to be lax was surely justifiable.  At this point, I have had enough of everybody's rights and priviledges and feelings and urges and matters -- what am I gonna do? 

So I recieved 2's and 3's on my evaluation.  Hmmm that taste good haha!  Sorry I can't help but to laugh at that; I couldn't resist!  Really? Who cares about a 2 or a 3 -- I sure don't, especially when it is absolutely silly to think that was all my time was worth!  I'm glad I have the capacity to think through this and look right past the numbers.  All one has to do is look at my previous evaluations; the numbers speak for themselves! I know I am a helluva student!  But what you don't know is I also know, and recognize a challenge when it spits on my shoes, and I will not back down.  Rational folk like myself have a tendency to call out bullshit when I see it, hear it, or even begin to sense it.  For example, if someone says some outlandish statement like "Obama will take away all of our guns," that is some bullshit that needs to be called out.  However, there isn't much you can do for a person who believes this, except for give them a hug and tell them to back away from Fox News.  Put down the remote, and back away...from....the...Fox......News....!!!!

So what I mean is...a 2 is BS and 3 as well.  Yes, there are two sides to every story, but all you need is mine because I have no reason to lie.  As proof, the directors say the more feedback, the better; and I believe they take our criticisms into consideration in order to improve the program.  Good, because I believe in feedback, too! I feel I was evaluated on one-day, and one-day only.  You mean to tell me, for 9 days, I only did 2 & 3's worth of work?  Really?  Not even you can believe that!  On day one, I was 30 minutes late (1:30p), okay.  

But then, how can one be criticized for something they didn't know they were supposed to be doing?  If you are never given a formal/informal introduction to your job duties, orientation to protocol, introduced to the population you will be serving, etc., how can you be fairly criticized for not knowing?  I don't think you can.  Should I have already known those procedures? That's debatable.  I say no because I, for one, will not allow others to influence my judgement on someone I have never worked with, or had the opportunity to get to know and experience on my own, or at least, enough to formulate my own opinion on.  Ironically however, this is exactly what I feel happened to me.  Based on previous students, I was unfairly labeled and pre-judged to be a bad student.  Nothing would overcome that.  I am tired of writing now.  If only you can hear what the athletes really think.  That's why I don't have to explain anything.  Are you listening? 

Rotation 5 - Lufkin High School

Lufink HS was a cool rotation. I first have to give a big ups to Josh for providing the transportation to and from Lufkin, which is about a 30 minute drive south along Hwy 59.  And now that I think of it, this rotation could not have worked out any better. Me, being the only one in the  program who doesn't drive, had to get a ride every time we went there, whereas others would spilt the driving duties.  But luckily, the price of gas went down so dramatically, it didn't have as big of an effect as it would have, say had this rotation been scheduled in September. Mike W. and Sylvia H. are the Athletic Trainers here, and they staff about 10 athletic training students. Fun fun fun, as Jai would say. I liked this rotation, though! Mike, or as everyone knows him as Doc, is a very knowledgeable person, and he seems to genuinely take interest in what you [AT student] have to say. It is very refreshing to have someone like that.  Congratulations to Lufkin High Panthers winning District and making the Playoffs!  Good Luck 'Pack, even though Panthers do not roam in packs ;-)